Note: Back to the past – sometime in 2022, I wrote this entry below. Since it was saved as a draft for awhile and also after being in hiatus for some time, I decided to finally publish this now. Let me know after reading if you can relate or have a similar experience and also how you cope with this kind of struggles.

I remember almost a year after giving birth, also almost a year of my parental leave, I was so excited to go back to work. I told myself that I am not gonna just be a mom, I want to be a working mom, a full-time working mom to be exact. I also told people always, especially during job interviews, that I am not only a mom, I am also a career woman, I am a wife, I am an artist, I am many things because I believe I can. I was so excited that I even search a lot of videos in You Tube on home organization, meal preparation, etc.

Almost a year later, fast forward, the inspired, excited mom is overwhelmed. It felt like I am working 3 shifts in a day. At times, I would wake up at 5am to work, then tend to my kid at 7am, fed her breakfast and make her ready to go to daycare. Me and my husband would alternately schedule bringing her to the the daycare around 8am.

In other words, your mama is not only overwhelmed, but also burned out. My biggest trigger was the announcement at work that there was a restructure and that our team is closing. I was managing my depression brought about by the above-mentioned situation. And it has been a vicious cycle of I am ok, I can still manage, to not and to ok again, repeat.

A lot has changed to date, fast forward 2023. I finally landed a new job in a new company. I am still in the same field but completely doing something different. I felt that career wise, I was able to find my niche. This also makes me happier. I feel there is a good future to look forward to, if only I put an effort and show my best. Plus I get to travel from time to time for work. The wanderlust in me is ecstatic.